The Curious Case of Autism Exhibited by Jenna Darabond
There was a rainstorm outside as I sat in my room, drawing anime, gore, and whatever else came to mind. My new Ayano Aishi X Jeff Woods fanfic, sitting next to the RTF for my sexy-ass Elizabeth II X Sarah Conner fanfic, which were both in the same folder as all my drawings. You need to know that detail so stfu. Anyways, the sound of my overhead fan got annoying, so I started listening to FantomenK. On the initail drop of The Massacre (Version 2), my door burst open and flew out the window. I got angry and closed my window again, before sitting back down and going back to drawing anime. "CATHY! THIS IS URGENT!" Screamed the person who rekt my door. Oh, by the way, that's my name. "I need to finish the shading on Reo's chest." I say, looking at my drawing of my favorite Sono Hanabira couple doing you-know-what. A 7.56x45mm bullet came rushing past my head. I looked over to see who destroyed my door, and there, in the doorway, was Get_Right. "The fuck are you doing here?" I ask frustraightedly. "There's something you need to see!" Get_Right said. "Great, another vague apocalypse situation. Let me change my panties." I say, walking over to the nearby armoire. Don't judge me ok? Before I could actually put some on, Get_Right grabs me by my sleeve and dragged me out. I was wearing my pajamas the entire time so I'm barely forming the thought of him wanting to do some lewd things when I remembered that it would probably be against the ToS. Anyways, he brings me out of the front door. There I see Will Smith and Tom Hardy infront of a black bugatti veyron. It ain't nuthin' but a nick-nack pattywack, I still gots the bigger sack. I was about to ask question, but before I could answer I was stuffed into the back seat. Great, now I can't figure out if this is past or present tense, and I'm sandwiched between Get_Right and Alphatom493 | Promethium45. We were driving to some kind of maid cafe. Along the way, Alphatom and I played some Open Hexagon, during which, I got good and ended up scoring 26.80680084228516 seconds on Quadrupel V2. Once we arrives at La Soleil, I begin to wonder what exactly the plot is. Who's the antagonist? The protagonist? Will there be any more god-awful and unfunny Mad Max references? Our orders are served, and soon I'm met with a cup of tea and some cheesecake. I examine the tea, Snapple, and smack that shit away. It always gives me gas. I looked at cheesecake and fit the entire damn thing in my mouth. It was then I heard a voice in my head. "You must destory them!" It said. I disreguarded it, as lately I have been getting into Cosmos and I listen to way too much FantomenK. I pass it off as me imagining Carl Sagan singing what little lyrics there are to A Tiny Spaceship's Final Mission. I look over at Chocola, gazing upon the perfect waifu material, but then my eyes darted to who she's serving. He looks like A Wikia Contributor, and he's sitting across from Mai Sentry. I was probably going to pass it off as an ordinary newfag when they suddenly stood up and yelled. "I AM JENNA DARABOND!" And with that he quickly took a plate out of hammerspace and smashed it over Mai Sentry's head. With the blood that was drawn, I'm going to see if the admin was alright, however, Jenna quickly got onto all fours and began rampaging around the cafe. Chocola and Vanilla ran into the kitchen as Jenna begun to vomit beige prose and random letters at everyone. I quickly notice the wrench laying on the floor and grab it. I brought it up above my head, ready to slam the wreched cur, painting the floor tiles with it's face. I would have done it, if a quad city remix of Focus hadn't come through my mind. Jenna took advantage of this situation and knocked me to the ground, splashing peach Snapple in my face. The methane trapped in my lower abdomin kept me pinned to the ground, and I could only watch the rest of the rampage in horror. The main protagonist of Xanthia.lua quickly rushed out in response, but since the M4A1-S was nerfed, his weapon did little to save him from Jenna's wrath, and the poor soul was drowned in beige prose. Get_Right began firing with his SCAR-20. "GO_RIGHT GET PREGNANT!" Yelled Jenna as he dodged the bullets and flayed Get_Right with his holpgrsm oenis. Suddenly, the police arrived. The cheif, SOMEGUY123, and his deputy, TheDudeWhoLicksMustard, proceeded to escort Jenna off the premises. Everyone began to get back to eating. I finally finish convulsing from the intense gas and get back to my seat. TheDudeWhoLicksMustard goes flying through the window, as we hear someone yelling in the distance. "THATDUDE ARE YOU LESBANESE?!" Slayer Waves by FantomenK begins playing as Jenna bursts through the window, SOMEGUY123 stuck in the flithy beasts' gaping maw. SG drops some odd object as Jenna comes to a grinding halt, beige prose and hyper-realistic blood splattering everywhere. "Atleast I'm not Jenna...." Mustard said and died. "ALEAST I'M NOT 14!!!" Jenna roared. Tom Hardy pulled out a double-barrel shotgun. He pulled both triggers to fire the barrels, but the shells were duds. Jenna quickly slathered Tom with beige prose, melting him to pulp. Will Smith crashed into the Cafe in an F-16 Fighting Falcon. He began firing hydra missiles everywhere. Jenna was unphased by this. "Wall Smith your a knock off soviet comrade take some lessons pls" Jenna said. "This is a black thing isn't it?" Will Smith said as Jenna destroyed his jet. Jenna took a swipe at Alphatom493 | Promethium45, but Alphatom dodged and Jenna never noticed. I looked over at Get_Right's corpse, and saw that he was still clutching his SCAR-20. I limped towords it and picked it up, feeling the comfortable ergonomics in my hands. I popped in a fresh mag, and heard the voice again. "You must destroy them! The earth is counting on you, good luck!" Carl Sagan said. Then, I knew what to do. "stop trying to be soviet comerade" Jenna said. "No, you!" I say, and fire the SCAR-20. The bullet incapacitated Jenna, freeing SOMEGUY123. SG quickly grabbed his walkie-talkie, and called for backup. EVIL PATRIXXX showed up, and SG and EVIL PATRIXXX quickly banned Jenna. I exited the Cafe with Alphatom, and I whistled for a cab. When it came near, I quickly noticed the liscence plate said 'Wisconsin', and it had a dice in the mirror. Since this was such a rare cab, we instantly got inside. We were almost finally there, when Jenna landed on the top of the cab, random strings of hyper-realistic letters dribbling from his mouth. "Yo holmes, smell ya' later!" I called as me and Alphatom exited the cab. We began running for our lives, which became really awkward since the rain destroyed Alpha's laptop and had soaked my pajamas to the point of ecchi fanservice. After 30 minutes of running through the allyways, we suddenly got lost in a forrest. "ik better r typing than you Catthu" Jenna called from the distance. "Where are we going to hide?" Asked Alpha. We stopped infront of a large land preserve. It was covered in cannabis plants having banter about their royal status. Having no other choice, we ended up running through, and had to apologise to around 4,529 cannabis plants. Me and Alpha ended up taking refuge in a barnhouse. He hid in some haystacks while I stuck myself in a locker, Alien: Isolation style. We could hear the landowners talking with Jenna in the distance. "We can't hide here forever," I began to whisper to Alpha. "What's the plan?" "I'll form a distraction, and you go in for the kill!" Alpha says. "Cliche, but it'll probably work." I said. The owners began screaming. Blood and prose splattered the doorway of the barn, as Jenna stomped his way into the building. The fucker began to survey the area. As she was going to exit the building, Alphatom got out of the hay on the top of the barn and began yelling. "Oi you bloody swaggy," Alphatom yelled. "It's london to a brick that your clacker is a shithouse! You're kangaroos loose in the top paddock if ya' think you can up yourself enough to win a blue against a bogan with a billy on his head, you punter! It stands out like a shag on a rock that ya' aint within a cooee of having a brain, and strewth, you talk like a mentally defective ankelbiter! It'd be bloody apples if you could cark it! A dero could cream you!" "enblish pls" Jenna said. I clubbed Jenna over the head with the buttstock of the SCAR-20 I had. I began repeatedly bashing his with the SCAR-20, and Alphatom493 joined in with his laptop. Eventually, all that was left was a mixture of hyper-realistic blood and fruit pulp. We only stopped until we could hear Galaxy Man's theme, and looked up to see a bunch of Flying Saucers. One dropped down and a ramp shot forth. The Alean's leader, Zimloki, stepped foreward. "We would like to congradulate you on ridding the universe of such a beast." He said. Then he took us both in the flying saucer. We began flying at lightspeed, as Zimloki and Goody Two-Shoes began having sex on the controls of the ship. When we finally arrived at the UNSC Infinity, me and Alphatom were given the Hexagon achievement. "So how do we get home now?" I asked Zimloki. "Haha, funny you say that. The plot twist is that you don't." Said Zimloki. "wut.bat?" Alphatom asked. Credited to: TheDudeWhoLicksMustard